Sunday, August 15, 2010

Life as a nice guy(From some points of view)

One of the things that I constantly have to reaffirm in myself is that I am not a bad guy.

The dating world in general seems to not be conducive to proving this point.  Breakups are nasty.  Mine seem to be even more so.  The thing that frustrates me though, is the Friend Factor™.

Whenever I've had a breakup, it's usually quickly followed with public bashing of me as "A jerk who doesn't know what he wants" or the much more hurtful phrase of "You're so much better than him,  you should find a real man and leave that weirdo behind"

So let me address those people right now.  Believe it or not, it is possible for 2 people to not be compatible in a romantic relationship, and not have anything wrong with either of them.  I realize, this is a revolutionary concept, but guess what? It's true!  But you know what? When you say things like that, on a public forum where the other party can see it, that makes you a Grade A Jackass.

Now I'm not denying that such conversation goes on, or that it shouldn't, because I'm sure it has therapeutic value.  But for crying out loud, do it privately.  Don't publicly bash someone just because they separated with your friend.  As a matter of fact, to do so is almost borderline libel in my opinion.  If you can't back up those statements with documented fact, you're slandering your friend's ex's name.

This seems to occur to me generally when I separate from someone.  It kind of bugs me, as it sends me into a tailspin for a few weeks as I examine myself and try to see if maybe the slanderers are actually right about me.  And you know what? It hurts.  Because you know what? I'm a nice guy.  I'm not a mean guy.  I'm not a jerk. I don't cheat, play games, beat around the bush, or toy with women.

And you know what. Those kinds of statements are uncalled for.

But I digress.

It is at this point that I'll put this down, reserving the right to add to it later, and issue a call.

I've tried adding a box to this site, but can't figure out how to properly show it.
In the mean time, if you've a topic you'd like me to discuss, feel free to email me


  1. Hey doll.
    I know I am super late with this comment but I just had to weight in.
    I completely agree with you about a relationship not working out and there not being anything "wrong" with either person. I know from personal experience that, sometimes, loving the other person just isn't always enough. After a while, no matter how you feel about them, it just isn't worth the fight anymore.
    But I guess I have been lucky. None of my ex's have aired the dirty little details of our relationship or breakup in public [even though, technically, I have via my blog...opps..Do I get credit for it being anonymous?]. It was always left at "It just didn't work out."

  2. Well I don't put time limits on my comments! Haha
    But yes. I get bashed frequently after a breakup, and even to my parents...

    Also, while this isn't relevant, I don't mind biting. ;-)

  3. It may not be relevant, but I will keep it in mind. lol.