Tomorrow

Well here it begins.  Tomorrow I start what will likely be the beginning of finally joining the world as a contributing member of society.  After the next 8 weeks I'll be taking my first certification test as a Nurse Assistant, or Patient Care Tech.  I'm extremely excited about this prospect.  For the past nearly 9 years I've been working every odd job I can find just to make ends meet, and haven't been succeeding.  Last May I finally achieved an associates degree and started applying to 4 year colleges.  Sadly none of them accepted me.  So I had to look at a backup plan.  It was around this time that I realized finally what I wanted to do with my life.  I was going to start applying to local community colleges to become an RN.

A couple weeks later, I was in summer classes, and began applying to various schools.  One of the classes was a two parter, for a certification as a CNA.  These are the people that take temperatures, blood pressure, check on patients along with all the less known jobs like bedbaths and perineal care.  It's a real job, it's as often as I can schedule for, and it gets me the experience I need in a health care setting, all of which I'm looking forward to.

So tomorrow morning, I start.  I'm seriously giddy as can be.  Just 8 weeks of intense final training, with clinical hours on Saturday mornings, and I can finally get a real job.  But that's not even the best part.

As it turns out, even a community college nursing program is quite competitive, but in a different way than normal transfers to universities.  As it turns out, as long as you've passed the prerequisite classes(which I've done quite efficiently) it's more of a matter of comparing your prereq gpa and your scores on standardized exams (HESI A2, or the TEAS) determines your placement or lack therof.  Well I searched around, and am in the process of attempting to enter two programs around here, and fulfilling the requirements for one other.

At Prairie State, I have applied, and am waiting for the end of fall term to find out if I've been accepted.  At Moraine Valley, I have an informational meeting on Sept 28th to get my TEAS test card, and find out if I can get in there.  But the third seems the most promising.  It's a conglomeration of 9 community colleges in the greater Phoenix area.  From my understanding, as long as you meet the prereqs, you are placed in line, and will eventually get in.  I'm hoping to get in on this program.  While I'm waiting for an open spot, I can work full time, and hopefully finally achieve my goal of moving out, and living on my own.  It's been a few years too long, in regards to that.

So, I start the plan in the morning, and the fingers stay crossed.

Abuse

One of the things I positively hate, despise, loathe, is abuse.  For this, I have a little story, with names changed to protect anonymity.

When I was going to Purdue, I had a friend named Sally(not her real name!).  She was, in many ways, not exactly the most primrose person when it came to men.  But during my tenure there, we became rather close friends.  Around the time of my last year there, she admitted having a fling while she was on vacation visiting family.  A few weeks later, she discovered that she was pregnant.  During this time, I was involved in my own relationship, and after discovering that she was pregnant, the father began placing increasing demands on her, to start cutting men out of her life.  It got so bad that he wouldn't permit her to spend time around me anymore, unless it was a double date with him present.  She then proceeded to change my name in her phone to "Jenny" so as to allay suspicion that her and I were still friends.  I, however, withdrew from school at that point, so we didn't see much of each other after then.

Cut to a few months later.  Out of the blue, she calls me up.  Apparently Luigi and her had a fight, which culminated in him throwing a sharp object at her (a set of keys) and slicing open a small cut on her stomach.  She then asked if she could stay the night, and I agreed.  I will point out at this time, that on that night, I slept on the couch.  Her and I were never more than just friends.

So she began an apartment search.  And dropped off the radar a while.  Until one night, while I'm at work, she calls me again.  Luigi had convinced her to give him another try, despite all my attempts to dissuade her, she moved back in with him.  Here's the first gem.  At the end of the call, when she stated that "We can't be friends anymore" and I began to hang up, I heard him say "And if you ever come between us again I will---------------" and the line went dead.

Cut to a month later.  While I don't know the details, my understanding is he began abusing her again, and she must have said something in regards to how I took care of her when he refused, because he text messaged me "If you ever come near my family again, you will incur my wrath - Signed, Luigi"

That was the last I'd ever heard from either of them.  This was over a year ago now.

Cut to last night.  I'm talking to a friend, different story.  She had had a long day, coupled with ex troubles, and her current boyfriend wanted her to stay the night.  She said no, went home, and we were playing Starcraft II, when he started verbally attacking her, and saying things such as "I WANT YOU.  I DON'T WANT YOUR MALE FRIENDS, JUST YOU.  No more texting Zack, no more talking to Johnny, just you"

Well, son of a bitch.  I'm trying to convince her now, that maybe this isn't the best relationship to be in, but I fear it will once again fall on deaf ears.  I hate situations like this.  They really, truly, deeply Piss. Me. Off.

Until next time, worldly readers, feel free to comment. 

Life as a nice guy(From some points of view)

One of the things that I constantly have to reaffirm in myself is that I am not a bad guy.

The dating world in general seems to not be conducive to proving this point.  Breakups are nasty.  Mine seem to be even more so.  The thing that frustrates me though, is the Friend Factor™.

Whenever I've had a breakup, it's usually quickly followed with public bashing of me as "A jerk who doesn't know what he wants" or the much more hurtful phrase of "You're so much better than him,  you should find a real man and leave that weirdo behind"

So let me address those people right now.  Believe it or not, it is possible for 2 people to not be compatible in a romantic relationship, and not have anything wrong with either of them.  I realize, this is a revolutionary concept, but guess what? It's true!  But you know what? When you say things like that, on a public forum where the other party can see it, that makes you a Grade A Jackass.

Now I'm not denying that such conversation goes on, or that it shouldn't, because I'm sure it has therapeutic value.  But for crying out loud, do it privately.  Don't publicly bash someone just because they separated with your friend.  As a matter of fact, to do so is almost borderline libel in my opinion.  If you can't back up those statements with documented fact, you're slandering your friend's ex's name.

This seems to occur to me generally when I separate from someone.  It kind of bugs me, as it sends me into a tailspin for a few weeks as I examine myself and try to see if maybe the slanderers are actually right about me.  And you know what? It hurts.  Because you know what? I'm a nice guy.  I'm not a mean guy.  I'm not a jerk. I don't cheat, play games, beat around the bush, or toy with women.

And you know what. Those kinds of statements are uncalled for.

But I digress.

It is at this point that I'll put this down, reserving the right to add to it later, and issue a call.

I've tried adding a formspring.me box to this site, but can't figure out how to properly show it.
In the mean time, if you've a topic you'd like me to discuss, feel free to email me Sineris7@gmail.com

Day two - Jumping right in.

Let me start by saying that this blog is going to at times most likely get a bit more than PG rated.  However, I don't think that's too much of an issue, as those invited to read it are adults.  So here I go.


I intensely dislike oral sex.

Oh, I'm certain many people enjoy it. After all there's a whole social group dedicated to claiming that it is "not real sex" but I just find it incredibly disgusting.  And I'm sure that having said this, that I'm just being closed minded, and old fashioned, but there is absolutely nothing about it that I find appealing.  And yes, this means, I will absolutely not perform it.  Ever.  Don't ask, don't intimate it, don't even hint that it'd be something special I could do for you.  I will not do it.  But I am not hypocritical.  I will not ask for it either.  I want nothing to do with it, and that is that.  Even the mere thought of it makes me slightly nauseous.  It's just, people urinate from those organs, why would you ever want to put your mouth there?  Seriously?

So.  If this disqualifies me from being in consideration for boyfriend/husband/lover material, random readers then I'm sorry, but this is one of the things that I will not ever budge on.

Now I'm off, to think up more things to write.

Day One

I've never been exactly good at talking about myself.  Years of constantly being picked on and bullied and even tortured past the point any sane person would have just given up caused me to start putting up walls around myself, and never really letting anyone actually close enough to make a solid connection beyond friendship, and the occasional serious relationship.  Especially in my grade school and high school years, I grew socially, and psychologically in the opposite of what one is supposed to.  Where children learn intimacy, I learned isolation.  Now this is not intended to blame anyone, as I'm far past the point where I really hold specific people responsible, but it occurred to me that perhaps I should start 'tearing down the wall' while I work on a career, because it is starting to appear that I have become an extremely lonely person.  So join me, as I start to open up, and actually discuss things that I want to share.  That is what a blog is for, after all.