Ooh boy this one is a doozy.
I'm single. Very single. But truthfully, I kind of prefer it that way.
It goes a little like this. Pretty much every relationship I've had has ended in a dramatic, overplayed, drawn out mess. Every one. So it's easier on my part to just stay as far away from them as I can until I'm finally finished with school, I'm thinking. But at the same time, I am human(despite what you'd ask the exes). I have needs. However, I'm a respectful young man. One that was brought up with the values that to just randomly pick up women in bars for this purpose is not appropriate. I'm also of type of man that doesn't exactly cultivate friendships with women who are okay with or even want that sort of thing. Now don't misconstrue what I'm saying, this isn't intended to be a "Oh pity me" sort of thing, just a kind of explanation of what the post is supposed to address. I am content. Trust me.
If I had to guess though, the truth is, I'm self sufficient when I get involved in a relationship. There isn't much take, in the give and take department. And I think that causes strife. The women I've been involved with are generally the type that in another world would be considered almost helpless at times(most times). And for a person like me, that solves problems on my own, and doesn't need to spend all my nights out socializing with people or flaunting who and what I am and can get, it will cause issues. It has.
So when you put those two together, you begin to see kind of why I'm single. To add to it, I'm not clingy, and I rather enjoy my own free time to do with as I wish, especially with as limited as my free time gets.(and will get by next fall). So do I want to stay single? No. I'd say not. But I'm not looking. At this point I'm of the opinion that if the right gal comes along, one that realizes and can accept me for who I am, then we will talk. But in the mean time, I'll just plod along, doing my thing as I go.
yeah. The relationship post was not easy for me to write either. I worked on it for about two days before it actually went up. :-/
ReplyDeleteBut I don't think I understand. The girls you date could be considered *helpless*? How boring. I mean, I know that some guys like to be the super hero and I have no problem stroking a guy's ego every now and then but really? Helpless? I must have too much pride for that. ;)
And I completely understand about the whole *clingy* issue. I have had ex's like that before. It's like, "Honey, I love you. But I just don't need to be around you all the time." What can I say? I am secure enough to still care about and trust someone even if they aren't right next to me 24/7.
Helpless in the idea that they tended to be almost paralyzed if I wasn't around to listen/deal with issues/etc. And yes clingy is bad. Very bad. The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that I'm looking for someone to come home to and talk about the day, not someone who desires to drag me out every night to go hang out with her friends/family/random stranger she met at work that she will eventually replace me with(actually happened). And yes, there are days when I want to just roll the dice, pick someone and finally be rid of all the uncertainty of the dating pool. But that's a story for another day.
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